next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
