Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
