I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
