My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
And then my night got REAL pukey
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
