He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
