Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Sorry my hands just texted you
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
