As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
