Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
