Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He? As in you personified your dick?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
