I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
