Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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