Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
