3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
