In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I can't turn off my feet"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
