Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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