did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
