i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
