i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
