U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
