i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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