Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
