Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
