we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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