Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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