Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
