is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just want to make out with him forever
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
