I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
