Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
