mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
