Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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