Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
