My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
