Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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