If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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