hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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