walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
