hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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