if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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