Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Nobody cheats on THIS.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
