i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my being single is dangerous.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
