Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
