i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
