So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
