Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
