just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
