I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
