the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize