so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
