I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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