I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
