Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
