Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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