so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
