I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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