Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
