Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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