I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
