were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
