You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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