There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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